just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
