Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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