Grow some girl-balls and come out already
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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