...so i touched it.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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