Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
