So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
