Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
