We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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