if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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