names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
