You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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