What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
