This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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