So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
