he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
