it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
