My nipple is on Facebook.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
