Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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