he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
