I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
