its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
