I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
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