you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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