No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
