My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Just pee around me
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
