there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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