This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
