Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
