Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
