Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
