but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
