i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
