I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
