hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
