I hope mine doesn't look like that
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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