Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
3 2 1 whiskey
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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