I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
