Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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