so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
