i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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