if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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