Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
