at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
