another moral hangover. fuck.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
