No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
