Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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