5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
