spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I need moral support for this bender
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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