He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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