We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
