lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
