He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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