omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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