Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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