What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
