Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So much rum. So many feels.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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