Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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