Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
