Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
