i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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