oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
