ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
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