I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
