I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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