He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
