just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
