I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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