Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
