how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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