Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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