I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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