I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
